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Old 08-27-2007, 08:12 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default A must read for any straightrazor user!

There I stood on the rocky dew covered mountain top as the sun was just cresting over the horizon. The birds were singing their morning songs as my trusty badger brush worked a froth inside my grandfathers antique civil war mug. The lather felt good as I painted it onto my face, and the smell of Col. Cronk's Amber Soap filled the air. "Snap", I hear twigs breaking behind me.

I turn to see the upturned curious snout of a California black bear. Apparently I am not the only one who enjoys the sweet aromatic bouquet of Colonel's soap. As the sun begins to warm the landscape my urine also begins to warm my leg as I pee on myself. I start to sniffle like a school girl which I notice angers the black hoarding menace. Suddenly, I see a blur of black coarse fur (no, not soft like my silver-tip badger brush) as the bear swipes and moves to engulf my frothy mug of soap.

After a jarring thud, I lie spilling my wet-works upon the dewy grass, and glimpse the bear moving away with glints of the Colonel's lather blotting the tips of his fur. I smile and soak up the moment and begin to reflect on the charm and mystique of straight razor shaving.

Keep shaving out there. I sure can't wait until these skin grafts take hold so I can get back to enjoying my morning ritual. By the way, the doctor was successful in removing my 1890 Sheffield from my rib cage without marring up the edge! Until next time, have a great shave!

Please provide comments forum members!

Last edited by devil_dog_shaver; 08-27-2007 at 08:15 AM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 08:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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There I stood on the rocky dew covered mountain top as the sun was just cresting over the horizon. The birds were singing their morning songs as my trusty badger brush worked a froth inside my grandfathers antique civil war mug. The lather felt good as I painted it onto my face, and the smell of Col. Cronk's Amber Soap filled the air. "Snap", I hear twigs breaking behind me.

I turn to see the upturned curious snout of a California black bear. Apparently I am not the only one who enjoys the sweet aromatic bouquet of Colonel's soap. As the sun begins to warm the landscape my urine also begins to warm my leg as I pee on myself. I start to sniffle like a school girl which I notice angers the black hoarding menace. Suddenly, I see a blur of black coarse fur (no, not soft like my silver-tip badger brush) as the bear swipes and moves to engulf my frothy mug of soap.

After a jarring thud, I lie spilling my wet-works upon the dewy grass, and glimpse the bear moving away with glints of the Colonel's lather blotting the tips of his fur. I smile and soak up the moment and begin to reflect on the charm and mystique of straight razor shaving.

Keep shaving out there. I sure can't wait until these skin grafts take hold so I can get back to enjoying my morning ritual. By the way, the doctor was successful in removing my 1890 Sheffield from my rib cage without marring up the edge! Until next time, have a great shave!

Please provide comments forum members!
I suspect you have been reading one of mine and Xmans posts!
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Old 08-27-2007, 08:57 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default Are you serious!?!?!

Are the skin grafts because of a shaving accident?? How did you get your razor stuck in your rib cage?

I just bought over 600.00 worth of Dovo Razors, strops, silver tip badger hair brush, hones, mugs, soaps, stands, after shave cream and I'm redoing the lighting in my bathroom so I have the perfect lighting. I keep reading all these horror stories, I don't think I'm going to be able to do this! I'm more nervous about this than the first time I had sex!
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Old 08-27-2007, 09:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Are the skin grafts because of a shaving accident?? How did you get your razor stuck in your rib cage?

I just bought over 600.00 worth of Dovo Razors, strops, silver tip badger hair brush, hones, mugs, soaps, stands, after shave cream and I'm redoing the lighting in my bathroom so I have the perfect lighting. I keep reading all these horror stories, I don't think I'm going to be able to do this! I'm more nervous about this than the first time I had sex!
I suspect DDS's post was a joke based off of another thread and even if there is some truth to his post, we're talking one in a million chance! don't be nervous. there is little to be nervous about!
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Old 08-27-2007, 09:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default Answer to your ?, Skelt...

The skin grafts came from the bears single swipe at my unshaven mug. My cherished 1890 Sheffield was lodged in my ribcage by my own uncontrollable flinching at the site of the large black bear. I had just finished stroping the blade for about 60 round trips, so needless to say it could glide through anything. I do believe this is what saved me, because once the Sheffield was nice and lodged between my ribs I doubled over in pain and dropped my frothy mug. The bear enthusiastically went for the sweet froth instead of my neck. He must have just been looking for something sweet, because after he lapped up the Colonel's Amber lather, he waddled off into the woods.
So add this to the list of don'ts:

Don't:
  • shave naked
  • shave while talking to the wife and kids
  • shave in a wildlife nature preserve
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Old 08-27-2007, 09:38 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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DDS, where you hiking or something? Did you have a nice trip? I can just imagine it, the woods and the animals, your trusty straight razor, your beautiful woman watching you in all your manliness as you stand there atop the mountain shaving with a piece of steel. That has to be great.

I think after I get this down, I'm going to try to find a new career. Working in a library just isn't cutting it for me anymore.

By the way, I like the puppy in your picture.
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Default Actually Skelt...

No, there was no woman...although you're right that would have been nice. No, I was alone...like I am most of the time. I live in a secluded cabin and my only companions are the wounded woodland creatures which I nurse back to health.

As a matter of fact I would have surely bled out on the ground had it not been for my faithful friend Rex, a three legged coyote I nursed back to health months ago. Yes, Rex dragged me back towards my cabin, and with one of his three legs knocked the phone off the hook. Incredibly the operator soon came on the line, overheard my wimpers of pain in the background, and sent help.

It just goes to show you how important relationships are...even those with other species. Take care of yourself, and never burn bridges, especially when you live in a cabin by yourself surrounded by Amber loving black bears.
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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While entertaining it is......i call Shinanigans
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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No way!

Cheers
Ivo
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Old 08-28-2007, 08:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Default Shenanigans...

Yes, shenanigans is the black bear lapping up my cherished Col. Conk's Amber lather, and leaving me with the most horendous shave ever (eight inch claw marks across my unshaven mug). He was obviously envious of my 1890 Sheffield razor's sharpness. I showed him though, no, not by weeping in the fetal position, but by pushing on with my dedication to the art and ritual of straight razor shaving.

Never let anyone tell you what you do is silly or time consuming. Time consuming is waiting for these skin grafts to take so I can get back to shaving!
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Old 09-01-2007, 07:41 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Default The great outdoors

What a great story! A similar thing happened to me not one month ago. There i was, minding my own business when a Black bear stepped from the woods while I was shaving with my 4/8" SS Dovo and Taylor's of old bond Street sandalwood cream.

The big question was whether the bear was attracted to my sandalwood shave or the 6'x5' Elk hide, freshly scraped, drying on the hoop not 20 feet from my hooch.

Oddly enough, the bear just turned and left, with no comment. Obviously disdain for the 4/8" razor.
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Old 09-01-2007, 09:53 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Default What good is a thread like this without any...

...pics???
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Old 09-01-2007, 05:29 PM   #13 (permalink)
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...pics???
GAWKER!!
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Old 09-06-2007, 05:50 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Reckon you should have had your trusty .50 hawken rifle loaded and capped to sort any of them Bars that would be so rude as to interupt a mans morning shave. Best we can manage down under is a pesky Roo !! cheers
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Old 09-06-2007, 08:30 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Dammit! If only we didn't have this pesky random drug testing policy at the office I could participate!!!
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Old 09-07-2007, 12:50 AM   #16 (permalink)
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C'mon Devil_Dog_Shaver...come back and play with us!
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Old 09-08-2007, 06:41 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Until i see a pic of a face full of bear claw gashes (which are sure to be more than any one cheek can hold) with a bar of col. conk shave soap held next to it, im voting BS... lol but entertaining
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Old 09-18-2007, 09:52 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Default "make a bear skin rug...just the right size..."

Killer!!

Missing many explatives, but good to hear a Devildog story none-the-less. Leave it to a Marine to start out shaving his face in the nude and end up with a sucking chest wound.


Im a brand new member and have not even received my first razor in the mail yet... I expect to have some mishaps to begin with but you take the cake brother.

Keep your chin up and your head DOWN!

-Shaun
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Old 09-19-2007, 04:16 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by gblacksmith View Post
What a great story! A similar thing happened to me not one month ago. There i was, minding my own business when a Black bear stepped from the woods while I was shaving with my 4/8" SS Dovo and Taylor's of old bond Street sandalwood cream.

The big question was whether the bear was attracted to my sandalwood shave or the 6'x5' Elk hide, freshly scraped, drying on the hoop not 20 feet from my hooch.

Oddly enough, the bear just turned and left, with no comment. Obviously disdain for the 4/8" razor.
Hmmmm...could be. I think a bear would definitely use a wedge.......

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Old 09-19-2007, 04:30 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skelt View Post
Are the skin grafts because of a shaving accident?? How did you get your razor stuck in your rib cage?

I just bought over 600.00 worth of Dovo Razors, strops, silver tip badger hair brush, hones, mugs, soaps, stands, after shave cream and I'm redoing the lighting in my bathroom so I have the perfect lighting. I keep reading all these horror stories, I don't think I'm going to be able to do this! I'm more nervous about this than the first time I had sex!
Don't be nervous...this is so much easier! You get immediate notice when you're doing something right/wrong; as long as you have the right angle, it won't be painful; and when you're done, you're done!
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